150 Questions To Ask Your Partner Before You Move In: A Comprehensive Guide
Moving in with your partner is a significant step in any relationship. It's a blend of excitement and apprehension, a leap of faith that requires careful consideration. Before you take this plunge, it's crucial to have open and honest conversations about your expectations, lifestyles, and values. This comprehensive list of 150 questions aims to facilitate those crucial discussions, ensuring a smooth transition and a happy cohabitation experience.
I. Finances & Practicalities (approx. 50 questions):
Budget & Spending:
- What's your current monthly income?
- What are your regular monthly expenses?
- How do you typically manage your finances? (Budgeting apps, spreadsheets, etc.)
- What are your financial goals (short-term and long-term)?
- Are you comfortable sharing financial information openly?
- What's your attitude towards debt?
- How comfortable are you with joint accounts?
- How will we split household expenses (rent, utilities, groceries, etc.)?
- What's your spending style? (Saver, spender, etc.)
- Are there any significant financial burdens you're currently dealing with?
- What are your views on investing?
- What is your comfort level with shared financial risks?
- How will we handle unexpected expenses (car repairs, medical bills)?
- Do you have any savings? If so, how much?
- What are your plans for retirement?
Household Chores & Responsibilities:
- How do you feel about sharing household chores?
- What chores do you enjoy doing?
- What chores do you dislike doing?
- How often do you prefer to clean?
- What are your cleaning standards?
- How will we divide household chores (cleaning, cooking, laundry, etc.)?
- Who will be responsible for yard work (if applicable)?
- How do you feel about having a cleaning person?
- What's your approach to home maintenance and repairs?
- How do you prefer to handle repairs and maintenance issues?
- Who is responsible for grocery shopping?
- How often do you typically cook?
- What are your dietary preferences?
- Do you have any allergies or dietary restrictions?
- Are you comfortable with shared food?
Lifestyle & Habits:
- What's your daily routine like?
- What are your sleep habits?
- Are you an early bird or a night owl?
- What are your social habits (going out, socializing at home)?
- How much personal space do you need?
- How do you handle stress and conflict?
- What are your hobbies and interests?
- Do you have any pets?
- How do you handle disagreements?
- What are your expectations regarding personal space and privacy?
- What is your preferred level of cleanliness?
- How do you prefer to spend your weekends?
- What is your preferred level of communication?
- How do you handle conflict?
- What are your expectations regarding household rules?
- Do you have any significant allergies or sensitivities that we need to consider?
- What are your thoughts on guests staying over?
- How often do you like to have guests visit?
- How do you handle visitors?
- What are your preferences regarding screen time?
II. Relationship Dynamics & Expectations (approx. 50 questions):
Communication & Conflict Resolution:
- How do you communicate your needs and feelings?
- How do you handle conflict and disagreements?
- Are you comfortable having difficult conversations?
- What is your love language?
- How do you express affection?
- How do you show appreciation?
- What are your expectations for quality time together?
- How do you handle disagreements about household tasks?
- How do you deal with stress and difficult situations?
- How do you handle criticism?
- What are your expectations regarding communication frequency and style?
- What are your expectations for emotional support from your partner?
- How do you show support and understanding to your partner?
- How do you resolve conflicts in a constructive manner?
- What are your expectations regarding conflict resolution?
Shared Values & Goals:
- What are your long-term goals for the relationship?
- What are your long-term life goals (career, family, etc.)?
- What are your views on having children?
- What are your views on marriage?
- What are your religious or spiritual beliefs?
- How important is family to you?
- How do you envision our future together?
- What are your expectations about our social lives together?
- What are your expectations regarding your career and professional goals?
- How important is personal growth and development to you?
Personal Habits & Preferences:
- What are your pet peeves?
- What are your favorite things to do together?
- What are your favorite ways to relax and unwind?
- What are your preferred methods of spending free time?
- How do you handle personal challenges and setbacks?
- How do you manage your time and commitments?
- Do you have any particular habits that could affect shared living? (e.g., snoring, night eating)
- What are your feelings on shared social media accounts?
- What is your approach to sharing personal information?
- How comfortable are you sharing your personal life with your partner?
- What are your expectations regarding alone time?
- What are your preferred ways to show your love and affection?
- What are your thoughts on gift-giving?
- How important is quality time for you?
- How do you feel about expressing your emotions?
III. Home & Living Arrangements (approx. 50 questions):
Living Space & Preferences:
- What is your ideal living space?
- What are your must-haves in a home?
- What are your deal-breakers in a home?
- What are your preferences regarding home décor and style?
- How important is natural light and outdoor space to you?
- Are you comfortable making compromises on living arrangements?
- How do you feel about decorating the home together?
- What is your preferred method of resolving disagreements about home decor?
- What are your preferences for furniture and appliances?
- Are you comfortable sharing personal belongings with your partner?
Guest & Visitor Policies:
- What are your expectations about having guests over?
- What are your preferences regarding overnight guests?
- How do you feel about pets in the home?
- How do you handle visitors who overstay their welcome?
- What is your preferred method of managing guest interactions?
Household Rules & Responsibilities:
- What household rules are important to you?
- How do you feel about having a set of household rules?
- How do you feel about establishing clear expectations for shared responsibilities?
- How will we handle disagreements about house rules?
- How will we ensure fairness in sharing household responsibilities?
- What are your expectations for maintaining order and cleanliness in the home?
- How important is it to you that both partners contribute equally to household chores?
Long-Term Plans:
- What are your plans for the future of our home?
- What are your long-term plans regarding the property?
- What are your thoughts on homeownership?
- What are your plans for renovations or upgrades?
- What are your preferences concerning home maintenance and repairs?
IV. Commitment & Future (approx. 0 questions):
This section is implicitly covered throughout the previous sections, focusing on long-term compatibility and shared visions. The questions above extensively address commitment through discussions of finances, shared goals, and future plans. Explicitly asking about commitment levels should be organically woven throughout previous conversations.
Remember: This list is a starting point. Adapt it to fit your specific needs and relationship. The most important thing is to have open, honest, and respectful communication. Moving in together is a big step—take the time to prepare. The effort you put into these conversations will pay off in a more harmonious and fulfilling cohabitation experience.
